dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
