Kiss
Puke
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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