At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize