is your mom at the bar?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
