I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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