There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
