Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
