i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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