she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
