Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
