That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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