dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
