winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
