I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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