I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
