i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
