Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
