ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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