how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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