I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
