If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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