i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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