doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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