You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
