Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
