god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
