Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
