dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
