This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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