i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
