i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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