I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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