I got chris browned last night
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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