Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
