fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
