She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
