He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Enjoy the penises
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
