This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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