walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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