ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
