That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
