oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
