What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
