I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
