But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
