Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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