i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
