We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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