so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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