Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
