i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
