Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
