did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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