also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
