Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize