i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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