Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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