Nicole vs. Life
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
