Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
