Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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