I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
