i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
