Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
