Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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