haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
