Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
