Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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