oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
