Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
