Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
