my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
