i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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