My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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