names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
