just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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