Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
