we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize