i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
