When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
