At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just threw up on my dentist
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
