I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
