OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
