The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
