4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
