Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize